setting boundaries
and learning how to do so with ease
“I release the fear of disappointing others, and allow myself to respect the boundaries my intuition has set”
There’s that buzz word again - Boundaries. How I have them, How I lack them, and how i’m learning through them. It’s no coincidence that one of my biggest trials in the past year was skin disease. Our skin is a LITERAL boundary between our internal organs and the external world, and it’s the surface for all other connections.
I had it all wrong before - i thought boundaries meant cutting people off when they overstepped mine or hurt me, blocking my heart off to anyone who felt untrustworthy, and closing doors before they even opened. In very nuanced situations, perhaps these more drastic measures are necessary, but often there can be a gentler way.
On the other hand - I used to have no boundaries at all. I would give and give and give (and this is still something i’m learning to move through), and not think much of what I received in return - and I don’t mean that in the sense of “making things even” - no- I mean that we should strive for balance in our relationships and connections, and also awareness of when someone is unable to carry the weight of their own life, let alone someone else’s.
Some ways I gage the level of boundaries to set with someone:
How do I feel after spending time with, or speaking to, this person? Am i energized or depleted?
If I asked for the support I’m giving, in return, would it be there?
When I think of this person, where do I feel them in my body? Is it a tight feeling in my chest, or an open-hearted, expansive feeling?
Does this relationship feel one-sided or are we both engaged?
My biggest takeaway, as of late, is that boundaries don’t make me a “bitchy” or “cold” person. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. The boundaries I set are out of respect for not only myself, but for whoever else is involved, too. The better I can tend to my garden, the better I can tend to the world’s garden. They’re not a consequence or something I must dread- they’re rewarding and make this life so much sweeter.
Repeat after me: “I release the fear of disappointing others, and allow myself to respect the boundaries my intuition has set”
xx
Sachi